Motivation when sick

Okay, so my motivation has truly been lacking over the last few months. I went to the beach, had fun, and was generally okay with how I felt in my body. Was I super happy with the way I looked? Not at all, but was I going to freak out and never take my shirt off? Screw that, the beach is hot and I hate to sweat.

When I got back last Sunday though I started to feel sick. It may have just been the airline that I flew back on (I always get sick after plane rides), but I feel stuffy and I can’t unclog my sinuses. I’m wondering if there’s a steadfast rule for how long I need to wait to feel better before I get back into the gym. I have no clue. I think I’m going to try and wait it out, but that’s just making me nervous. I don’t want to lose all the good progress I made before I left two weeks ago.

Screw it, i’m going running on Sunday.


Feelings on the Fitbit

It’s been 24 hours since I strapped this little bit of tech to my wrist and I have to say I like it. I know I’m a nerd and I’m all about cool new tech, but this is really pretty sweet. It’s got features that can be accessed by your smartphone and that’s my favorite part. being able to see how much I have walked every day makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something. I can keep track of the food I’ve been eating to see how much I have left before I over eat, and that’s damn helpful.

More than all that though, I really like the way it makes me feel like I’m living in the future.

Pictured: The Future

Pictured: The Future

Think about it you guys! You have a computer in your pocket that has more processing power than was used to send people into fucking space! HOW COOL IS THAT?! Now you have a little extension to that computer that lives on your wrist and tells your computer in your pocket that you like tacos! BRILLIANT! If you combine all this with a blutooth headset (and why wouldn’t you?) you have robots in your ears that use the computer in your pocket to let you speak with anyone on earth WHILE YOU BUY TACOS! I love my fitbit, I can’t wait to see what it will be in it’s next generation.

Fitbit 2.0

Fitbit 2.0

I know I have a ways to go before I reach my fitness goals but if anyone out there is looking for inspiration and motivation then I would totally recommend the fitbit.

It’s like a tiny robot on my wrist…

So I went and got myself a fitbit…

Taste the rainbow, sweat on the rainbow...

Taste the rainbow, sweat on the rainbow…

I really got it by accident since it was a re gift, but whatever. It helps that I feel like a cyborg now whenever I walk. I’m constantly checking my steps on my phone like a tool and I keep staring at it like I’m expecting it to transform and tell me to stop sitting on my ass. I think it will be a good way to keep myself honest.

I like the design and I like the way it feels, but honestly it feels like a gimmick. Like just one more thing to get forgotten and abandoned on my stumbling quest for fitness. But who knows, it’s only been a few hours since I strapped on this tiny robot watch. I know that you can follow or compete with other people on your fitbit so if anyone out there wants to add me on you fitbit friends list send me a private message and I’ll shoot you my email. Think of it this way, if you add me then you won’t have to feel bad about your own performance, i’m sure i’m pretty sedentary.

Exercise balls are bullshit (Day 9)

You know what I hate? Exercise…which is somewhat counterintuitive because that’s what i’m talking about in this blog. No i’m not talking about running or sit ups or pushups i’m talking about the whole concept of exercise. You see, when I look at a thin person I think.

“Wow, you must think i’m a fat looser with no self control” not, “Hey can you show me how you did that?” The latter of which being the most logical question when seeing said thin person. I think that most of the time, that feeling of self deprecation and a lack of genuine interest comes from my misconception of exercise. Because when I was growing up, I was picked on quite a bit. I’m a tall person, about 6’4″ and when I was younger, people seemed to find that reason enough to make me feel bad. It also happens that most of these people were athletes. Now this coincidence has led me to a conclusion that has followed me for most of my life, Athletes in any shape or form are assholes and they only exist to make me feel bad about myself.

I know this is a misconception and that it’s caused by my brief, albeit traumatizing exposure to a group of assholes who had a common interest in football and bullying. However I feel like this type of experience is not singular to me. I’ve heard my story replicated from people all over the country and world, and it goes roughly like this.

“When I was growing up I was different (tall, short, fat, skinny, black, white, hispanic, a girld, a boy) and a bunch of athletes (football, soccer, basketball, track etc.) made me feel bad about it.” This is not new or news. However the one thing that most of these tormentors have in common is their requirement for exercise due to their inclusion on some manner of athletic team. Whether this was because of their coaches being dick heads, their parents being jerks or some combination of the two. You can generally pick out people who were marginalized and attacked as children two ways: They are out of shape, and they try every way they know how to have as little as possible to do with organized team sports. This creates a problem for people like me and others like me when it comes to getting healthy. We automatically equate fitness with becoming an asshole.

This is a concept that I am doing my best to change but I would be lying if I said that I do not feel judged when I enter the gym. Most of the other attendees are in shape and younger than I am. I know as an adult that there is little to nothing they can do to me, however that doesn’t stop all the fear from forming, so this is another problem with my motivation in getting myself to the gym. I’m going to keep going because I know that i’m doing this for me, but that fear of judgement wont go away completely, and that’s a shame. However I did experience a personal victory. Exercise ball knee tucks, is what they’re called I think. You get in the pushup plank position but your shins are on a tall inflatable exercise ball. You then draw your knees to your chest and back. This exercise hurts your abs not during but after. Also if your ballance sucks you fall a lot. Which leads me back to my title, Exercise balls are bullshit.

Boxing Is Hard Work, Day 7

I keep forgetting that being in shape hurts. I know that it’s hard work, and I know that if this were easy the we’d all look like supermodels or athletes. Yet I keep remembering that scene I. Fightclub when Tyler looks at the underwear advertisement on the bus, and says “Self improvement is masturbation” to that I say, bullshit. Masturbation never hurts this much and if you think it does, then you’re doing it wrong.

But I still need to keep at it, for each sit-up I know the payoff will be worth it. And while we’re talking about sit-ups, who ever came up with the idea of throwing a medicine ball against the wall and then trying to catch it, mid sit-up is a rat bastard! That’s not exercise that’s torture!

Well it doesn’t matter if I like it or not, I’m still going to work at this until I’m where I want to be.

Wish me luck.

Day 3 (again)

Alright, so I went back and attended the boxing class two times since I last posted.

I have to say, after my first time, things were looking grim. I was having trouble walking and my legs hurt for the whole weekend. I felt completely spent, my muscles felt like rubber bands that had been left out in the sun and stretched too far. But I took the time over the weekend to rest up and on Monday I went back for round two.

I prepared a little differently this time:

– I didn’t eat anything for several hours before I went. This meant that I didn’t feel like I was going to puke during or after the workout. Which was a plus.

– I also hydrated like mad. So as to relax my muscles and I think it helped me get through the workout. So I’ll be doing more of that from now on.

All in all, this boxing thing is really working well for me. Who knows, I may eventually post up a before and after photo.

I’m going back again tonight, wish me luck.

Boxing day Reboot? Day 1 (Again)

Okay, I’m back. This time i’m going to try and stick with talking about what I want to accomplish. I went and talked with the manager of a boxing gym, he seems cool. I think his name is Dave. Either way, I want to make this a reality so I’m going to work hard at accomplishing my goals even though they sound wholly unappealing.

I just don’t think I have enough time to come up with any real results. I’d be dishonest if I said I was confident I could stick with it. Everyone around me seems to need my attention almost constantly. Help with computers, help with lifting heavy stuff, fixing cars, building furniture, saving money, cooking the meals. I don’t really have a lot of time for me. So when I do have free time, one of two things happens:

I sleep or watch TV because I’m tired


I want to do something else I think is fun. (Car modifications/maintenance, Woodwork, learning about computer coding, practicing math, read a book/comic book)


We’ll see how today goes. I want to succeed but I’m just not sure I can.

Day 6 food

Banana chocolate chip muffin
Cup of coffee with half and half

Sir fry bowl with chicken, veggies and small amount of noodles
1 piece of a veggie quesadilla

1 bowl golden grams

Pulled pork sandwich
1 half grape fruit
1 orange
1 peanut butter cup

Day 6

It is really cold out today so I didn’t run. It’s seems like the last time it was cold out and I ran my lungs hurt for a while afterwards. When I say hurt, mean that when I coughed I could taste blood, so that sucked. But today when I woke up I knew that I had to do something since I haven’t worked out in a few days. But today I did a little something after I dragged my ass out of bed.

Push-up: 20
Sit-up: 20

So yay!

Day 2 Food


Banana Chocolate Chip muffin

1 cup coffee with milk

1 glass of water


Spinach salad with sauteed veggies, sun dried tomatoes, balsamic and pesto.

Turkey wrap with cheddar, spinach, tomatoes and light mayo

1 glass orange juice

Afternoon (New Staff reception):

1 cup regular coffee with cream

2 cups decaf coffee with cream

1 tiny cream puff thing

1 sugar cookie with frosting

1 strawberry flavored petit fours thing

Small pizza with goat cheese & rosemary, capellini, mushroom, Alfredo sauce and beer glazed onions
Chocolate chip cookie
Small pizza with red pepper and jalapeƱos with BBQ pork and BBQ sauce
Lemonade/ginger ale